Sunday, August 9, 2009
So this is what it's like
Liliana Grace is SUCH a joy. She is happy ALL the time. She is gorgeous. She sleeps great (knock on wood). She's thriving (all 19.6 pounds of her per her 6 month appointment last week). She loves peaches, and thinks peas are yucky. She laughs at her older brother. She wakes up with a big smile on her face. She is such a blessing to our family.
I find myself in awe of her little milestones, like her first two teeth FINALLY popping up this week. Or how she learned how to pull herself up to the high chair tray. When she first rolled, I cheered her on for days. How I love listening to her babble! Watching her reach for a teething ring or rattle warms my heart. I am really enjoying my baby girl.
I know we're never supposed to compare our kids, but I do find myself comparing experiences. We did not have a "typical" hearing loss diagnosis experience. Not only did it take months, but it took all of my energy. I tried SO hard with Christian to enjoy the little things that all new Moms do with their little babies, but a cloud of uncertainty constantly hung over my head. I was stressed pretty much all of Christian's first year. I was exhausted from sleepless nights not caused by my baby, but by the non-stop swirling of stress in my life. Could he hear? What could he hear? Is there something else wrong with him? Will he EVER talk? By Christian's 14 month, he had more testing and surgeries than I had in my lifetime. While other Moms were stressing about food allergies and diaper rashes, I was faced with the possibility that my profoundly deaf son would never speak. I never really was able to truly enjoy his first year. While wonderful and full of blessings, it was equally as full of stressors, worries, guilt, uncertainty, and total panic.
While Christian's infancy will always be special, I'm finally realizing with Liliana what "everyone else" experiences. I remember thinking that all those Moms who had such "little" worries like food allergies and diaper rashes were nuts. Now I'm one of them, and I totally understand. Lily keeps me grounded, and Christian keeps me floating. I think I have it made.