Tuesday, January 6, 2009

What's In a Name?

Here we are, 22 days before I'm scheduled to go in and have our little girl, and we STILL haven't finalized a name. Our friends and family know that last time with Christian, we announced his name well before he was born. In fact, we knew his name pretty much from the moment that we knew he was a boy. This time, it's a totally different story.

In addition to worrying about the typical stuff a parent thinks of when trying to name your child (like "Will she get teased"), I'm also thinking of something else:

Will she be able to hear it?

We decided to not get the pre-natal testing done to determine if our daughter has a hearing loss. For us, it was too invasive of a test for something that we really couldn't do anything about until she was born. With our family's genetics, we have a 25% chance of any future children also being Deaf. And, in all honesty, having a child with hearing loss is all we know. It's not AS scary as it was in the beginning. I wish I could say that it's not scary at all, but I would be lying. Even with all of Christian's amazing progress, I still have moments everyday filled with fear and anxiety. The fear and anxiety is normal for us.

So, instead of just trying to figure out what sounds nice with our last name, I'm also trying to find something that a child with a potential profound hearing loss (with high frequency issues) could hear. I've pretty much ruled things out that start with a soft consonant.

I know some people reading this may think that I'm a bit nuts, or I'm over-thinking this. Maybe I am. This pregnancy, I haven't obsessed over the color of my baby's nursery, or even my "birth-plan". Any time that I have had to think about this pregnancy (which has been like 5 minutes every other day), I've used to come up with our game-plan. We have our doctors in place. We know what to do if we do have a failed hearing test at the hospital. Our genetic testing blood draw is finalized. We've even talked about how our life is going to change if she DOESN'T have a hearing loss (no more vacuuming outside of the nursery door at night and large gatherings at our house when the baby is sleeping). I feel ready. I feel able. Even if the hospital bag is yet to be packed and the new crib isn't put together. I know whatever name we chose, will be perfect for her

8 comments:

Val said...

we don't have connexin 26 but I was hoping my daughter would be deaf also...when she wasn't, I was disappointed at first. Then I got used to not vacuuming outside the baby's room too...but she just decided one day, that she was going to be just like her brother. It was like riding a bicycle. You're a great mommy so no matter what, that's what you'll be when she joins you.

Lucas'Mommy said...

I wish you luck! Even though we're not expecting our 2nd (yet...), I think about future names that I might like, and have already ruled out names that start with "L" so we don't have to confuse name signs! It's such a tough decision! Enjoy your last few weeks with an only child!

Bright Family said...

I know how you feel!! Well, besides the fact that we've never done genetic testing, so we don't know how likely or unlikely hearing loss will be in Number Two (love the name?). I never really thought about if Number Two could hear his own name, but rather if his name was said, could Tayten distinguish between the two easily? It's tough!

I have a whole list of girl's names, but we can't seem to agree on anything for our new little man!

Best of luck as the day nears! I am excited to hear what you decide!

Lynn's Blog said...

Everything is going to be fine. Although you might want to pack that hospital bag just in case she decides to show up earlier. By the way, if she can hear, you'll want to vacuum outside her door so she gets used to it. Also, a sound machine is a beautiful thing! Hee hee! Love ya!

leahlefler said...

I'm sure whatever name you choose will be absolutely beautiful and perfect for your little girl! I'm sending you electronic "good rest" vibes so you have a lot of energy stored up for dealing with two little ones!

Angela said...

I truly appreciate your honesty; I can understand and relate to every word you wrote. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am a mother of 5 children and my last baby was born with deafness that is also genetic due to the Connexin 26. There are days when I stop and question if I would have had any more children if my first, second, third, or fourth was born with deafness. I still don't have an answer but I think that you are a very strong and corageous woman and a wonderful mommy with a caring supportive family. I can't wait until that beautiful baby girl enters the world. I am anxiously awaiting to hear her name!

The Pink Totebag said...

So weird that you are still struggling with the whole name thing - we are too (even though we're fortunate enough to not have to also measure it against the whole hearing/not hearing yardstick). Whatever you pick, it will be hers, and it will be beautiful.

I've been thinking - what about Grace? I think that name will work so well with your last name, and even though it's kind of trendy right now, it is really classic and has so much meaning. If you look it up in the dictionary, words such as thankful, a virtue coming from God, an act of kindness, considerate, and thoughtful are listed next to it. Plus, "G" is a hard consonant, too! I think it's pretty fitting for you and your family... :) Keep us posted...

Landry said...

We're Connexin, too, and were just discussing baby #2 tonight...about an hour before I read this post! I find it interesting (and comforting) to know that we share many of the same concerns and observations about the "what ifs" that are beyond our control. We were just "joking" the other day about how different our lives would be if baby #2 is hearing. One of my first thoughts when learning that Landry was deaf was, "She'll never be able to say her name correctly and neither will her deaf friends!" (this was clearly pre-ci discovery...), so I can certainly relate to the importance of name choices.

We can't wait to see what you come up with and will pray for the three (four!) of you in the coming weeks.