I'm having a hard couple of days.
Just when you think you have a handle on the whole grief-component of raising a deaf child, it sneaks right back up on you. Christian is trying SO hard, but the progress is inconsistent and slow. I feel so obnoxious writing this, as I KNOW that progress WILL be inconsistent and slow after the initial activation. I've counseled other parents going through this and have told them to be patient. I've reminded them that each child is different. I've encouraged them to stick to the program, to follow their audi and AVT's protocol and IT WILL COME. Why am I having such a hard time with this?
I'm thankful that my friends are here to remind me to stay positive. In the words of wise Aunt Ali "Stay strong. He can't see you upset". I'm not quite sure what I would do without our amazing support group here...it helps to have friends who just GET IT and who know when we're getting close to the breaking point (and happen to make a delicious dinner on the first day of pull-out therapy for our family so we can concentrate on our tired and worn out little boy). I'm thankful that my in-laws have stepped in and are there to really just do whatever needs to get done, especially making sure that our Lily Grace gets all the attention she so desperately needs. And Chuck...oh my sweet husband. I heard him last night working on isolating the new CI, helping our boy listen to sounds for the first time with that ear. He is so strong. He is so loving. With all this love and support, it's ridiculous that I'm freaking out and crying all the time, right?
This is the hard part. This is the part that I remember from the first time second guessing myself. This the part that tested my faith and my confidence. I know just like last time it will get better with time. I know just like last time it's all about the patience and the prayers. And knowing when to just take a break and lift up my anxiety to the Lord while raising a glass of Sauvignon Blanc with my girlfriends.
Oh, and if you haven't already seen this video, please watch it. This family hit the nail right on the head.