Protecting my Cub

I posted earlier this week about how my blog was picked up on an AllDeaf.Com message board. My family, my journey, and my son were completely misrepresented. My choices were judged. My family was criticized. And I had no idea it was going on.

So, I visited the board, corrected the mistakes, and made amends with the original poster. She actually is a very sweet girl, who has been implanted, and I've checked out her blog a couple of times.

I know that having this blog means that complete strangers will view it, and I am completely ok with that. I know that many parents of newly diagnosed kids with hearing loss visit this site, and I am so glad that my experiences can be a resource for them. This blog has allowed me to connect with an amazing group of parents who I view as one of my top resources and support systems throughout our journey with Christian. We share our ups, downs, good days, and bad days with our D/HOH kiddos. These parents are a very important part in our support system.

The whole experience on AllDeaf.com shook me to my bones. I'm not Deaf. Not a day goes by where I don't wish that I was Deaf so I could know what my boy is dealing with. I just was so shocked to see complete strangers in a community that I am so desperately trying to learn more about could just pass judgment about a family and a little boy that they don't even know. It made me sick to my stomach. It made me so sad for Christian. It made me think about Christian's future....is this what he is going to be facing in his life? Will he be forever judged?

Then, I looked back at my letters, my emails, and my blog comments from the dozens of parents and families that I have connected with this past year. Not all of us have the same communication methods or degree of hearing loss. However, we all have a mutual respect for our children and each other. We all support each other, regardless if our kids are aided, implanted, or not. These are the type of people that my family needs in our life. We need the positivity right now.

Like a Mother Lion...

I'm in full Mommy-Defensive Mode.

Looks like my blog got picked up on the forums on www.alldeaf.com and we were a bit misrepresented regarding our CI journey.



BTW, I am writing this post as I prepare to yet again drive up to Baltimore for more testing for my kid. I just hope the folks who thought that we were taking this decision lightly and were rushing into something are reading my blog archives. There has been NOTHING in our journey that has been rushed. And driving up to Baltimore 2-3 times a week for the past 7 weeks definitely is not my cup of tea.

St. Patrick's Day Recap...

I'm not Irish, but I did go to The Catholic University of America, where 99% of the student population had a list name that started with a Mc or O'. I traded in my Big Fat Greek heritage to become O'Scarmeas for a day, and partied with my classmates. Post-college, we would mark St. Patrick's Day by celebrating Opening Weekend at The Starboard in Dewey Beach, DE. On the days St. Patty's would fall on work day, we all leave work just a bit early to meet up at The 4 P's in the old neighborhood.

Now that I have my own little leprechaun(who actually IS Irish), I knew that St. Patrick's Day would be a bit more subdued. That is, until by some miracle, I was able to find a sitter and have Chuck take Christian to an appointment at Hopkins so I could attend KEGS AND EGGS. Nothing like getting up at 5:30am to go drinking with some of my friends and see some good bands. It was a much needed break, and MAD PROPS go to my husband for taking one for the team. Check out a recap and some pics here

Music

I've been wanting to write my thoughts on this for awhile now, but I've been putting it off, as it's such an emotional subject for me. However, Jodi, who just happens to be one of my Mommy-gurus, posted something on her blog today that gave me the guts to finally write it out.

I feel like I've come a long way when it comes to Christian's hearing loss and how I cope with it. There were days not too long ago that during his naps I would just sit in my bedroom and sob. I would worry about his schooling, socialization, how he would communicate, and how his life would be. I'm over that phase now. Sure, I still worry. But, I don't cry. I just get motivated to help him even more.

However, there is one thing still makes me cry. It's the goosebumps I get from listening to Boyd Tinsley's violin on the live track of Lie in our Graves by Dave Matthews Band. It's the smile that suddenly appears on my face when I listen to D'yer Maker by Led Zeppelin. It's the tears that well in my eyes when I hear anything by Edith Piaf. It's the PURE JOY I feel listening to O.A.R. It's the romance in my heart that boils over when I hear Frank Sinatra. It's the motivation I feel listening to Dylan. It's the uncontrollable urge to belt out the lyrics and pump my fists when I hear Journey.

It's Music.

I simply cannot fathom living my life without music. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that there is a very real possibility that my son won't ever know the beauty of Simon and Garfunkel. Or the energy of Dave Matthews. Or the absolute perfection that is The Beatles.

Regardless if he can hear it or not now, music is constantly in my our lives with Christian. We've swayed to Jack Johnson with him since he was 1 week old. He takes music classes at Imagination Stage, and not a day goes by where we don't practice singing some song. I know at times it's more for me.

When I hear stories of kids who are Deaf and have CI's that are playing musical instruments, listening to iPods and SINGING in their choirs, I am amazed. I can't help but WANT that for my kid too.

Just last night, our ASL instructor who received his CI 6 years ago at the age of 50,was describing how he now can listen to music and goes to plays at The Kennedy Center. He said he knew he wasn't hearing everything perfectly, however he could understand the music and he just loves it. WOW.

I had to get up from the class to pretend to use the ladies room so I could go cry in the hall.

We're featured on HearingExchange!

Paula has provided a wonderful resource for parents, families, and educators of D/HOH kids. If you haven't stopped by HearingExchange, please do check it out.