Thursday, June 11, 2009

One Exhausted Momma

I am just about at the tipping point right now. I've been stretched a bit too far this week, and I really REALLY could use a break right now.

So much is going on in our little family, and I'm having a really hard time juggling it all. I'm having an extremely hard time trying to be both a stay-at-home Mom, AND work 15-20 hours a week. Christian is having a tough time sleep-wise, which is making his behavior just go down the tubes. Which, then leads me to wonder if any of it is hearing related. My house is a mess. I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to drop. And I can't tell you the last time Chuck and I went out on a date. I have these dark circles under my eyes that even Lift Lumierecan't hide. My wardrobe, which used to include all of the newest designers and trends, consists of the same J.Crew shorts (in every color imaginable) and the same J.Crew shirt (in every color imaginable). I'm a mess. No wonder we haven't had a date night in over 3 months. Who wants to be seen out with the beat-down SAHM with puke stains on her favorite fit tee?

I always have prided myself in being a "glass-half-full" type of gal. Even when things get tough, I usually am the one giving the pep talks. I've tried giving myself a pep-talk "Hang in there,'s the terrible 2' will get better. Don't worry, Tina. No one cares if you haven't dusted in a week. It's ok, Tina, you don't have to be a SuperMom everyday". It's not working.

Honestly, the only thing that is keeping me somewhat on the same side of sanity is knowing that in a few short weeks my parents will be here. My Mom will help me clean. My Dad will entertain the kids. And they will let us get away so I can have some much needed time with my husband. It is SO incredibly hard living so far away from them. Now I know why my Mom got so ticked off at me when I planted my roots over 500 miles away from them. She knew it would be this tough. I hope to God Christian and Lily stay in Maryland so when their kids make them go postal, I'll be able to pick up their pieces.


tammy said...

As I finished reading this (with tears welling, knowing exactly how you feel), I started typing a comment and was then called away for a "dinner crisis" ... a mom's job is NEVER complete. Anyway, I worked FT from home with Kailyn (without any help) and I found myself up before the sun and going to bed in the wee hours of the morning. It was not easy. or fun in any way. but I wanted to keep my career and be that SAHM. I've never had family around to help out either. My heart goes out to you. I truly HEAR everything else you're saying too ... as moms it's so easy to lose who WE ARE for everyone else. We try to be the "supermommy" and even though we reach that status, before long we lose who we are. What I've come to learn in my 12 years of "mommying" is to love myself as much as I love my kids (which is truly easier said than done ... but TRY). So take time to rejunivate, get that spa and pedicaure and drinks with girlfriends, and DATE WITH HUBBY, and know that the laundry isn't going anywhere (and neither are the dust bunnies). The kids & hubby will be just fine because "when momma's happy, everyone's happy!" BTW - it was GREAT seeing you today! HUGS!

leah said...

Oh, God. I really remember those days- with two babies, no family for any sort of a break at all, exhausting schedule, and being so darned tired that I was strung out.

It DOES get better. It DOES get easier. They turn three. They put their own shoes on. They start to reason and aren't so darned difficult all day long!

The baby gets older, sleeps better, and starts to interact with the older one (in both good and bad ways, lol).

I remember things starting to ease up when Matt turned three. For some reason, him turning three and Nolan turning 1 1/2 seemed to be the tipping point TOWARD sanity. If it wasn't for the other moms in the "2x2" preschool group and the MOPS group, I think I might have gone insane!

Do you have a babysitter? We didn't get one until recently (our speech therapist's daughter), and it is WONDERFUL! I wouldn't have left the kids any younger than they are now, though- just the nervous mom thing.

In the meantime, I'm sending you some electronic pinot. And some reassurance that things really, really do get easier. Though my house is still a mess!

Laurie said...

Hang in there! It will get better, I promise! Just don't lose your focus and take one day at a time!

BIO: Being Inward Outward said...

We all need a support system we can always rely on. In your case, it's your original family, your folks.