listen with your heart. speak with love.

It's weird how even though we've done this before, I'm still full of the same anxiety and worry as the last time. On top of it though, is this odd sense of an almost peace. I don't think there's many mothers who can say they feel at peace the night before a major surgery on one of their children but I really do. I really feel ok.

This decision was a long time coming. It was not taken lightly.

What does bilateral mean? Well, I'll tell you what I think it will mean for me as his Mom. I'll never doubt the efficacy of his aided ear. I'll never again worry about that crazy scenario of him taking his oral boards for medical school and his 1 CI craps out, and then what...now, he'll have BOTH his ears to rely on. Now, he'll have a back-up. I also have scenarios of him on his first date, at sleep-away camp, and at a college party and his CI craps out and then whats....now hopefully he will always have a back-up. 

Christian has had a hearing aid in his left ear since he was 9 months old. He was a PHENOMENAL user and did everything he could with what sound was coming into that ear and worked with it. We know his hearing aid was instrumental in his love of music. We're not sure what's going to happen come after his surgery and after his activation.

So what does bilateral mean for Christian? To be totally honest, I'm really not that sure. I know his directionality of sound will improve and he'll have increased access in large scale listening environments. In basic terms, it will really help him in a classroom with 28 other kids talking at the same time with echoing tile floors (ahem...our public school which is awesome but totally loud that we're going to this Fall).  It will really help him on the lacrosse field to hear his coach. It will REALLY help him in Tai Kwon Do class. But that's just the basics. We'll have to wait to see what he can tell us about having another CI ear. I'm excited to be on this journey with him and to hear what he has to say about it.