I grew up in a traditional Catholic home, attended Catholic school, and was raised in a family where our Church was a center of not just my community, but of our family. I never doubted my faith, and always felt firm in my beliefs. That is, until we heard the words "Your son is Deaf". I grieved, and took my anger out on my faith, and on my Lord. I cried and asked God why HE would do this to my family? Why did this happen to us? I mean, if YOU REALLY LOVED ME, WHY would this happen? I became angry. I neglected to look at all the blessings in my life, and instead was so angry with God.
Underneath all my anger, my faith still glimmered. While I was angry, I wasn't ready to abandon my faith. On Christian's activation day, I remember clearly feeling a sense of calm. I remember sitting in the lobby of Johns Hopkins' Listening Center praying to God "Ok, this is all up to you. I'm letting it go, and you can guide me". That day, Christian repeated his first two sounds using his Cochlear Implant. And I knew that God was listening.
Since that day, I've learned to rely on my faith for the tough moments in our journey. At least once a day, I repeat my little prayer "Ok, this is all up to you". I find myself constantly thanking God for all of Christian's success, for my beautiful babies, and for the strength He gives me everyday. What could've broken my faith completely, instead made me a stronger and firmer believer.
I wanted to share this video of Christian singing Jesus Loves Me---most traditional Catholic Hymns are a bit tricky for little ones to learn (I am the Bread of Life, hello?!), but this will do. If this isn't a sign of prayers answered, I don't know what is.
(Please disable the music on the right side of the blog)