McFly? Hello? Are You Listening?

I know. It's horrible that I even just wrote that as my title of this blog, but in all honesty, that is what I want to say to Christian at least 3 times a day. Of course, that's in between playing the "Is it his age or hearing loss" game that I so hate. I am so frustrated.

All of the sudden it seems like Christian went from hanging on every single word I had to say to not caring at all. It was almost like switch was flipped on his 4th birthday that made him totally ignore me. I just sent an email to his teachers and in school audiologist to check his equipment. They probably are going to think I'm this crazy Mommy who can't come to grips with the fact that this is the start of 14 more years of him ignoring me in my house. It's just odd behavior for Christian, who usually makes eye contact and nods, and reaffirms what I have said.

I've also noticed some little changes in his personality. He's grown much bigger emotions, and now, more than ever, his sense of humor is exploding. I think he is going to be quite the clown, which makes me happy. I love how he is silly. I love how he giggles.

Fingers crossed that the foggy listening over the past couple of weeks is just a phase...or a dirty microphone cover!

Ask the Magic 8 Ball: Is It His Age or His Hearing Loss?

We play this game at least once a week. He's my first kid, so all the developmental stuff that the been-there/done that Mama's handle aren't necessarily second-nature to me yet. I usually defer to one of my best friends who has 4 kids and seriously has seen it ALL. She usually commiserates with me, wine glass in hand, reassuring me that it IS completely normal for an almost 4 year old to throw himself on the ground when I deny him an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba, and it's NOT because he can't hear me say so.

Then there are the times when I don't think it's an "age" thing. He leaves me guessing, and wondering if maybe he really is frustrated and acting out because he can't hear everything. Is he really asking me "What?" because he REALLY can't hear me, or is it because he's just almost 4 and too busy daydreaming of Spiderman and Batman? Is that little lisp that we sometimes hear just leftover baby stuff, or is it because he's a deaf kid? I just don't know. The thing about Christian is that while he is profoundly deaf, we rarely can place blame on his hearing loss affecting ANYTHING in his life. Most days his actual hearing loss is a non-issue (AND HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!). He has no language delays, he's doing great in school, and socially he is my superstar.

Once he starts school in 2.5 weeks, we'll get another audiogram done and have all his equipment double checked. I don't think we are having any issues, but it is one more thing that I can cross of my list. The testing will give me a window into where he is, although I'm pretty sure not much has changed. Then I can really just chalk all of this up to him being my sweet, sassy, silly and absolutely crazy TYPICAL almost 4 year old.

The Dreaded G-U-N word

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. That is what I thought I was getting into 3 years ago when I had my precious baby boy. I dreamt of walking hand and hand with him to the corner store getting ice cream, with his hat slightly turned. Scraped knees. Kool-Aid mustaches. Baseball gloves. Worms in pockets. Loving his Momma with a sweet smirk, giggling while running after a soccer ball. Isn't that what boys are about?

I guess I selectively left out a very important part of a little boy's life, and today I'm freaking out about it.

On our way home from school yesterday Christian described what he did at school. This was his response, WORD FOR WORD:

"Russell and I played guns on the playground. We went SHOOT SHOOT and I pointed and shot him with my gun."

Um, don't get me wrong, it's not like I expect him to NOT play war or guns, or whatever they were doing. He IS a boy and it IS engrained in his brain. He already has started making the sticks at the park swords, so I knew it was only a matter of time before the developed in guns. But at 3? Doesn't it start a little later? I figured it wouldn't start until at least 4. Can't he be my sweet little boy who sleeps with a stuffed Tigger and laughs at Sesame Street still? Why is he growing up SO fast? 

I chatted with him, told him that he shouldn't play guns on the playground, and that we never, EVER pretend to shoot someone. He then told me "Ok, but what if they shoot me first. Then I can shoot them, right?"

I think I'm going to lay down my arms and surrender to this battle. I don't think I am going to be able to win.